Passages
As a survivor of spiritual abuse and church conflict, I know that if you’ve been severely hurt by your faith community, or by your family’s interpretation of religion, it can seem impossible even to darken a church’s doorstep.
And yet, when babies are born, when young adults come of age, when people get married or divorced or pass away—we want more. We want to mark the occasion with more than paperwork. These times call for stories, songs, poetry and fellowship together.
I write and conduct services of transition for secular individuals, couples and families who want to celebrate or mourn in a different way. For couples whose families are at war over faith, for survivors of spiritual abuse, for people who just plain don’t want to hear about God, I create secular rituals.
I meet with my clients to listen to your story and get to know you. Together, we identify the ideas and values you want to give voice to, and the tone and style of your service. I offer suggested elements of each ritual, and we decide what’s most important to you. After that meeting, I draft a service and we
work together to polish it. We will only conduct a service that you’re comfortable with.
And yet, when babies are born, when young adults come of age, when people get married or divorced or pass away—we want more. We want to mark the occasion with more than paperwork. These times call for stories, songs, poetry and fellowship together.
I write and conduct services of transition for secular individuals, couples and families who want to celebrate or mourn in a different way. For couples whose families are at war over faith, for survivors of spiritual abuse, for people who just plain don’t want to hear about God, I create secular rituals.
I meet with my clients to listen to your story and get to know you. Together, we identify the ideas and values you want to give voice to, and the tone and style of your service. I offer suggested elements of each ritual, and we decide what’s most important to you. After that meeting, I draft a service and we
work together to polish it. We will only conduct a service that you’re comfortable with.
Namings, Dedications, and Coming of Age
Weddings, Commitment Ceremonies, and Services of Holy Union

Love is a temporary madness,
it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.
And when it subsides you have to make a decision.
You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together
that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness,
it is not excitement,
it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.
That is just being "in love" which any fool can do.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,
and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches,
they find that they are one tree and not two.
--Louis de Bernieres
it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.
And when it subsides you have to make a decision.
You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together
that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness,
it is not excitement,
it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.
That is just being "in love" which any fool can do.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,
and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches,
they find that they are one tree and not two.
--Louis de Bernieres
Funerals, Memorials and Celebrations of Life

After your death.
It was windy every day.
Every day.
Opposed us like a wall.
We went.
Shouting sideways at one another.
Along the road.
It was useless.
The spaces between us.
Got hard.
They are empty spaces.
And yet they are solid.
--Anne Carson, from Apostle Town
It was windy every day.
Every day.
Opposed us like a wall.
We went.
Shouting sideways at one another.
Along the road.
It was useless.
The spaces between us.
Got hard.
They are empty spaces.
And yet they are solid.
--Anne Carson, from Apostle Town